11 ways how NOT to propose – A Gentleman’s Guide

1) In public in front of thousands of people.

So you have plans to humiliate your wife to be in front of thousands of people? Maybe you have ideas to pop the question at the next big football game, live on TV, or at the annual beer festival?

The last thing your princess wants to see is you bending down on one knee with a microphone in your hand. Romance? There shall be none!

2) Propose without a ring or something stupid instead of the actual ring.

Your finances prevent the purchase of a ring but can’t wait to pop the question? What’s the rush? if you think she is the one and you want to spend the rest of your life with the woman of your dreams, then save up and wait for the perfect purchase.

Presenting her with a ring made of Lego or a plastic gemstone might work for some, but for others you may as well buy her a mini sausage roll from the local superstore and place it on her ring finger with a starry glint in your eye. The force will not be strong today.

3) Hide the engagement ring in food.

Ok I hear you…. You think its a great idea to place the diamond ring in a glass of champagne or wedge it in her mash potato. Honestly, You would be better off putting the ring over a crinkled chip and presenting it to her before you sat down for something to eat.

Imagine finding that new designer watch you always wanted, caked in your Sunday dinner gravy. Priceless.

4) In front of her family.

You did the crazy sneaky thing and got the whole family together and told them your plans to marry their daughter? Ow, look at you looking all great in front of her Mum and Dad. You pop the question while she stands there with a big red face.

Even if she said yes, its just one of those #awkward moments

5) In or on a tourist attraction.

Top of the Eiffel tower, the London Eye when it reaches the top, outside the Walt Disney castle on the next holiday trip?…. I hear your cries, but gentlemen, please refrain your fantasy ideas and think of something a little more unique.

The last thing your petal cake wants to see is the Lion king and Donald duck waltzing past while you’re down on one knee shouting at her over the sounds of fairy music “WILL YOU MARRY ME”. Even the children will laugh at you on this day.

6) Propose too early in the relationship.

Your heart pounds at the mere sight of her, you look forward to spending time with your new cup cake, you love her wit, her sarcasm and the way she makes you laugh. This is it, she is the one, she is a keeper……. Calm down there sunshine, its only been 2 weeks into the relationship.

The last thing you want is to let your feelings run away with you. Take your time and steady your stride. You are the cool cat, own that dream. Propose now and you could put her off, maybe she is not ready to peer that far into the future yet. The force is strong here but you’re not a Jedi yet.

7) Expect an immediate answer.

Once you do propose and she doesn’t give you an answer straight away, don’t worry, calm down and don’t take this as a sign of rejection. Give her time to think things over and settle her mind into what could be. Ask her once and leave it at that.

Or maybe just keep asking her all day and all night until she gives into your weeping man cries. Yeah we’ve all seen that movie Ghost…

8) Buy a cheap engagement ring and pretend its worth a fortune.

Skint? seen that engagement ring on the high street superstore that you can buy for £99. But it’s solid silver with a Cubic Zirconia stone. It looks real and I can pass it off as being all real like.

A real diamond ring comes with a certified certificate, will be beautifully boxed and comes with an insurance recommendation for a replacement cost. Don’t make a fool of yourself in the long run. Path to the dark side this is.

9) Use an old ring from an ex girlfriend.

The ex girlfriend took her ring off and threw it back at you sometime ago. You kept it and have decided to pass it on. Please, let me stop you there. Would you accept her ex husbands old wedding ring? No, I didn’t think so.

Sell it to “We buy any gold” Get her a nice new one.

10) Over the phone, email, text message, video, or social networks.

Why would you even consider any of these? A proposal should be intimate, close and personal. You are presenting one of the most beautiful feelings that you can share with someone else for the rest of your life.

If your game console or lord of the rings box set is just way more important and saying it by text seems appropriate maybe you should wait a while until you’ve grown up a bit.

11) Expect her to pop the question to you.

I know its the 21st century and things are changing fast, but lets not let the estrogen hormone override the testosterone fuelled warlords that make us man. Well not yet anyway…..

Come on guys, lets keep that tradition alive and do the worthy thing and make the woman of your dreams feel like a princess today…

Let us know your worst proposals or even best ones. How did your man make you feel special or guys how did your proposal backfire. We all love a laugh.

Main Image: wikipedia with thanks.